Fortune Cookie

Okay, so I just had to come on and write after I had Chinese for lunch and read my fortune. I don't take much heed of fortunes, especially the mass produced ones for mass production. But they are entertaining. But this one was just so hilarious! This was the first time that I found one with a typo! So I'm re-writing it here and the typo is exactly as it reads.

You know what you what - get to work and make it materialize.

I do have to admit that I was surprised by the coincidence of that message being in my cookie, though. Seeing how for about a week and a half now, I have been working practically non-stop on my novel. I want to be published badly. And it's not so that I can go to book stores, find my book, and yell, "This is my book!" Although, now that I think about it..... Ha! Just kidding. I write for me. And the people who matter most to me already read what I write. It's just the thought of having my work in print that gives it a sense of finality. In college I would write and the finality was the grade. Since I don't get graded anymore... that leaves publication. Oh and the sense of accomplishment! Now I can't deny that I want that. There are certain people that I sometimes pretend that I am looking through their eyes and see that they wonder what it is that I do with myself. And there's no sense in denying the fact that even though my mother loves me, I'm certain that she thinks that I flounder too much in life. The funny thing is that I don't see myself as floundering. There is just so much to life and I want to absorb it all. Being off of work with my wrist has shown me that much about life. Sometimes I get too serious and focused that life passes by. So not having my nose to the grindstone has been such a blessing. But now I'm trailing off.
The other night my mother came to visit with me while I was writing. I took a little break and we talked about my writing. Not that I could tell her much about what I am working on. (It is amazing how this novel has evolved since I first wrote it many years ago. It keeps changing so much that I don't know what is going to happen until it comes on my screen.) And it was one of those rare tender moments between us. My writing has probably been one of the few things that my mother has ever truly supported me 100% ever since the time I first began writing. But that night, I felt her love and her hopes. It all came across to me that she sees that my writing is the part of me that I was destined to express and produce.
So while I am writing this I am taking a break from writing Chapter 21. Actually I stopped working on it a quarter after two this morning. Things were not feeling right at all. And that bothered me. In the scene that I had just wrote, my hero looked like a complete wimp. I kind of put him in an impossible situation (a new idea) and have been trying to make it work. It's playing with how a man responds when expectations of a personal nature are placed on him by a female relation. This is a difficult train of thought to produce in a book because my brain is so female. But I want him to be real. And I like the idea of this situation because it will come full circle for the climax of the book. But on the plus side, last night I thought of a better title for my novel. Since it's conception it's been called "Weaver's Apprentice". In the original form it sort of made since. I have long been dissatisfied with the title, because it no longer fit. And with the new revisions and addition, it most certainly did not fit. But "The Dreamer's Heir" fits so much better. And unfortunately any of my friends reading this and my manuscript, I know they have not yet come to the section of chapters where this will make sense. But I like the new title nonetheless.
As a final thought and side note, there have been two CDs that I have been helplessly addicted to while writing: Josh Groban (2001 self titled CD) and Celtic Woman (The New Journey, 2007). I have been listening to them non-stop and continued to be inspired by them! Josh Groban is the newest to my play list and I am in love with his voice. Now that is how a man should sound!!!!!!